By Nigel Boys
When he was experiencing some back pain at home one day almost 2 years ago, 29-year-old Kayden Coleman, who was born a woman, but had been transitioning into a man for almost 10 years, asked his boyfriend, Elijah, to massage him.
The Daily Mail reports that the now married couple explained their former relationship and the fact that Elijah’s family didn’t know about the details of Coleman’s birth, in a video they shared on YouTube. Elijah’s family thought that he was just in a homos*xual relationship with another man.
However, while Kayden was being massaged by his boyfriend in 2013, he noticed something strange in his stomach, almost as if he was lying on a pillow, but none was there. He casually joked with Elijah that maybe he should get a pregnancy test.
As the feeling wouldn’t go away, Kayden did go for a pregnancy test and found out to his surprise that he was 21 weeks into his pregnancy with his daughter, Azaelia, who is now almost 2-years-old.
The Daily Mirror reports that although Kayden did not face discrimination from hospital staff when he went into labor for four days after being induced at nine months, because he had high blood pressure, he was treated differently from expectant mothers.
“All the medical people were really nice but I did kind of feel like an experiment,” Kayden said. “While I was in labor, medical students kept coming in and out. It got to the point where I had to put my foot down and demand a c-section.”
During the pregnancy, the couple made their family official by getting married but still wondered how to break the news to Elijah’s family, who didn’t know about the pregnancy and still thought they were a regular gay couple, according to Bossip.com.
“It was such a personal thing that I felt if Kayden wanted them to know he should tell them himself,” said Elijah. “But when we found out Kayden was pregnant we knew we had to tell them. How could we explain the baby when she popped up after a couple of months?”
Doctors had advised Kayden to go off his hormones because he was preparing to undergo a mastectomy, before he learned the news that he was pregnant, he told the Mirror Online. “To have a mastectomy you have to be off hormones for six weeks,” he added.
After the birth of their daughter, Kayden suffered post-natal depression and the unkind comments from some of Elijah’s relatives surely didn’t help.
“Even when I first held her it hadn’t sunk in that she was mine, so I didn’t really feel much,” said Kayden. “But I knew things would never be the same again. I was so happy to finally see her face.”
Now, however, the couple has become more used to handling their problems as Azaelis is almost two. They also feel that their daughter will not face backlash about having two men for parents when she is old enough to start school.
“We are more than capable of loving our children just as much and just as efficiently as any other parent,” Kayden states, describing their family life on YouTube. “Our children will not be any more confused or bullied about my being trans than any other kid is about something like having a single parent.”
Kayden and Elijah plan to tell 22-month-old Azaelia about her unusual family when she reaches the age of about five.
Speaking about an amusing incident during his pregnancy in which a woman in a shop said to him, “Honey, you look like you’re pregnant,” Kayden recalls telling her with a laugh, “I am pregnant!” Despite the huge bump on his stomach, the woman didn’t believe him, he adds.
Kayden tells how it was difficult for him growing up as a girl in a religious family in Florida. In fact, he convinced himself he was a lesbian for a while, because he enjoyed doing the same things his three older brothers did. He adds that pretending to be a lesbian meant at least, that he was more accepted when he played a masculine role.
Elijah battled with his s*xuality before coming out to his parents at his New Jersey home when he was 15, according to the Mirror online.
“My mum had lots of gay friends. One of them mentioned that I might be gay to my mum and she confronted me about it,” Elijah said. “My dad struggled with it for a few years, but I think on some level that my family had always known.”